skin&bones&wild hair, the sequel

Affinity

How long has it been? A good 7 or 8 years since we first met? I can't be sure entirely. Walked the same hallways, attended the same events, hung out with the same group of people. But for some strange twist of fate, we never had the chance to get to know each other or even talk until one fateful February night. And by some stroke of luck, Valentine's eve. At that time, I have to admit I was intrigued by you, by us. How could we not have met all those times? And that's when everything started.

Yes, I had a little crush on you after that night. Lol. And after we had an actual meaningful conversation, I was even more drawn to you. Unexpected that in such a short span of time we've really known each other, I started to fall. As much as I tried to keep a tight leash on my emotions, the simplest things you did or said made me smile. Like a fucking love-struck teenager. No hurries, I kept telling myself. Yes, keep doubting yourself. It's much too soon to be feeling this way. But at one point, there was just no denying it. One day I just woke up knowing for sure that this reality is so much better than any dream. It's real. And sincere. It's just honest-to-goodness love. Absolute, unfeigned, genuine.

AH CHEESY. I know, I know. Normally, statements like this would make me cringe. I'm not a really good writer. And I'm especially inapt at writing lighthearted lovelorn entries, much less publishing them on my public blog. It would have to be a 1:5 ratio of honey-topped hopefulness to fucking messed-up angst-y entries. It seems I specialized on loss, regret and self-loathing, evident on page views for those type of posts from my previous blog. But for now, I feel no loss. No regret. No self-loathing. And I believe that deserves to be commemorated. I look forward to the days when I back-read and find myself being overcome with the same emotions of euphoria. 

Don't get me wrong. It scares the fuck out of me. I know for a fact that there will be A LOT of challenges we'd have to overcome. I've been mulling over it for the past few days. Surely, there will be a lot of hate from the people around us. We haven't done anything wrong, I know that for certain. We never had the intention of hurting anyone. It just so happened we were the subjects of a fortunate stroke of serendipity. And honestly, we don't need the approval of anyone to feel the way we do. I know now that I shouldn't let anyone tell me anymore what I'm supposed to feel.

Not to mention the remnants of our pasts, that although I can consider is a blessing, may not be well-received by some. To be honest, I never really imagined I'd be in this situation. Yes, it does make everything a lot more complicated. Very much so. With all the facts laid out, I still do get overwhelmed. But I guess this is something that stands to make us stronger. I've gotten to know you beyond how others do. And I love everything about you. And I am ready to embrace this affinity. All its pros and cons. Embrace every detail. Embrace the past. Live the present. And welcome the future.

On a different note, let's appreciate how timing is in our hands. Why not take advantage of it? I am more than inclined to succumb to the well-orchestrated plan that destiny has laid upon us. Like I said before, all of what we've been through before has prepped us for this time in our lives. The time we've found each other. We've both grown separately as individuals. And we're both ready to grow together. Time has given us the advantage to recognize the difference between simple infatuation and pure love. And I know that we're both capable enough to handle whatever anyone will put us through. I trust you. I trust us. And I hope you feel the same.

Yes, I am terribly intimidated by the gravity of this whole situation. But I've never been so willing to make a relationship work. People can bet all they want that this isn't going to last, but I'm putting my foot down and finally giving in to what I've been trying to suppress since I-don't-even-know-how-long. Walls down. Because when you've found the right person, isn't it about time?

It's always going to be a yes. Always. Consider my game changed.

Un.

I finally retired my blog of 7 years. Unlike the last one, I have no plans of deleting it entirely. However, it will no longer be available publicly. I adopted the old template and URL because of sheer laziness. I do have plans of modifying everything, but I've been really rusty in the blogging front. Expect a complete change, though not anytime soon. I'm not even sure if my twitterfeed still works, but I don't really care much for views anyway. And yes, my blogroll is empty as of now. I'll get to that soon lol. 

I wasn't as active on my last blog compared to my first blog. From 1140 posts for two years to 445 posts for seven years, I guess I've been busy. Just as well. Randomness turned into more substantial contents. And though I don't see myself writing on a regular basis, I hope I don't degenerate even more. I am currently rekindling my love for reading by taking a break from PT-related books. 

Anyway, I'll keep this short since I am working on another entry that I hopefully finish by this week. Here's to welcoming sequels! Cheers!

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